im always drowning myself in fear. i start but then i crash into a wall and fail. i hate this that i have to keep starting this over and over. why am i so scared? inside i know i can accomplish anything but my mind is just like ahhh screw it. is it because of 0% motivation? life’s been shit lately, uncalled-for binges, and it’s obvious i’ve gained. ughh. i need to get over these shitty fears. they’re just pulling me back, blocking me from my dreams of changing. i feel pain because that’s my body saying nooo don’t change! i have to fight that pain and keep going! because the only thing that’s keeping me from changing is the pain, but the only way to succeed is to fight the pain. FIGHT IT DAMN IT. I NEED TO BE STRONG HERE.